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LES DAWSON SECRETLY MARRIED JOAN RIVERS
LES DAWSON SECRETLY MARRIED JOAN RIVERS The secret marriage between Les Dawson and Joan Rivers, my two favourite comedians, was always doomed to failure. It was a funny marriage! Les Dawson, born in Manchester, was a working class comedian with a deadpan comedic style who often made jokes about his wife and his mother-in-law. He also dressed up as a gurning woman in his comedy sketches. Les Dawson was quite an accomplished pianist, though he played the piano deliberately badly to make people laugh. In his autobiography, Les Dawson claimed that he learned to play the piano while working in a Parisian brothel. Here are some of Les Dawson’s best lines: • My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects. • A duck goes into the chemist's shop and asks, “A tube of Lypsyl, please.” “Certainly”, the chemist replies, “That'll be fifty pence.” The duck says, “Put it on my bill, please.” • I was in a play on television once. It was one of those suspense plays. It kept you wondering ... what's on the other channels? • The wife's mother said, "When you're dead, I'll dance on your grave." I said, "Good, I'm being buried at sea." • I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite. • Don't get me wrong; I'm not saying my wife's ugly. But she was under the mistletoe at Christmas, waiting for someone to kiss, and she was still there at Lent! • I went to a small guest house. The manager said, “Do you want a room with running water?” I said, “What do you think I am, a trout?” • Marriage is based on compromise. My wife wanted a new coat and I wanted a car. We compromised. She kept her new coat in the garage. Who are your favourite comedians? Joan Rivers, born Joan Molinsky, was a sassy comedian from New York. Her comedy was both self-deprecating and acerbic, especially towards famous people. The Rolling Stone magazine once ranked her sixth on its list of the 50 all-time best stand-up comedians. Joan Rivers was also a formidable talk show host and in 1986 she became the first woman to host a late night network television talk show with the launch of The Late Show with Joan Rivers. Here are some of Joan Rivers’ best lines: • If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor. • People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. • I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd like without plastic surgery. • When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes least three years off. • I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. • Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. • I knew I was an unwanted when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio. • The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it. |
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With regard to two of Les Dawson’s jokes, and for the benefit of my non-British friends, Lypsyl is a brand of lip balm and a chemist is a pharmacy!
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I love the old style comedians! Less swearing and so many of their funnies can be shared with friends.
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With regard to two of Les Dawson’s jokes, and for the benefit of my non-British friends, Lypsyl is a brand of lip balm and a chemist is a pharmacy!
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9/26/2021 4:42 am |
They both was funny!
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This is a great post. Lives the older comedians. They had real humor. Rich little was a fav when I was young because of his impressions. It was great to be able to stay up past bedtime and get to see a comedian on the Johnny Carson show when I was young. Have a great day! 💋 Staci
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There are so many comedians who make me laugh. Dave Chappelle, Jimmy Carr, and Ricky Gervais are three names that come to mind. 😂❗❗ ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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When you say "Les Dawson secretly married Joan Rivers", I was expecting to read a story that Les had been ordained and he officiated at Joan's wedding! I knew the mother in law was coming over when the mice started throwing themselves onto the traps. I was walking with my wife down to the high street when we saw her mother being beaten up by three thugs. "Aren't you going to help?" asks the wife. "No, three should be enough."
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Your favorite comedians have some great lines!
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Les was great, but I was never a huge fan of Joan. I loved Ronnie Barker, such a clever funny man. Billy Connolly was funny back in the day. Do you remember Jerry Sadowitz? He used to make me laugh so hard. Kevin Bridges is really good these days. You maybe don't know Chic Murray, probably the funniest man ever to walk the planted. And of course, let's never forget Msr LePetomaine.......
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What a great read this morning, I never heard of Les Dawson. But Joan Rivers I just loved her as she told it like it was, and always said what we all wanted to say but never did. As far as my favorite comedians there are several, Joan being one, George Carlin, Robin Williams, George Lopez, Richard Pryor, there are just so many great comedians and many of which were taken from us way to soon. I hope your enjoying a peacefully relaxing Sunday..
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Les Dawson was very funny but I never knew he was married to Joan Rivers. Did you know that Whoopie Goldberg was once married to Peter Cushing? They made a Whoopie Cushion My favourite comedian was Bob Monkhouse
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Benny Hill, or rather Ernie, was the fastest milkman in the West. But I'd like to see who was faster in the East!
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I love the old style comedians! Less swearing and so many of their funnies can be shared with friends.
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Joan is timeless ! I'm a Lily Tomlin fan.
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I was wondering about that! LOL Thanks for the clarification. When Americans say gas, fanny, back yard, pants and pissed, I have to stop and translate!
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They both was funny!
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This is a great post. Lives the older comedians. They had real humor. Rich little was a fav when I was young because of his impressions. It was great to be able to stay up past bedtime and get to see a comedian on the Johnny Carson show when I was young. My favourite impressionists are Rory Bremner and Ronni Ancona.
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There are so many comedians who make me laugh. Dave Chappelle, Jimmy Carr, and Ricky Gervais are three names that come to mind. 😂❗❗
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When you say "Les Dawson secretly married Joan Rivers", I was expecting to read a story that Les had been ordained and he officiated at Joan's wedding! I knew the mother in law was coming over when the mice started throwing themselves onto the traps. I was walking with my wife down to the high street when we saw her mother being beaten up by three thugs. "Aren't you going to help?" asks the wife. "No, three should be enough."
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Your favorite comedians have some great lines!
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Les was great, but I was never a huge fan of Joan. I loved Ronnie Barker, such a clever funny man. Billy Connolly was funny back in the day. Do you remember Jerry Sadowitz? He used to make me laugh so hard. Kevin Bridges is really good these days. You maybe don't know Chic Murray, probably the funniest man ever to walk the planted. And of course, let's never forget Msr LePetomaine....... I do remember Jerry Sadowitz. He was viciiously funny. I remember seeing him and a couple of my more politically correct friends walked out during his show. Big mistake; he just tore into them! Kevin Bridges is one of the best contemporary comedians around. I think John Bishop and McIntyre are very over-rated!
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What a great read this morning, I never heard of Les Dawson. But Joan Rivers I just loved her as she told it like it was, and always said what we all wanted to say but never did. As far as my favorite comedians there are several, Joan being one, George Carlin, Robin Williams, George Lopez, Richard Pryor, there are just so many great comedians and many of which were taken from us way to soon. I hope your enjoying a peacefully relaxing Sunday.. George Carlin and Richard Pryor were good too!
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Les Dawson was very funny but I never knew he was married to Joan Rivers. Did you know that Whoopie Goldberg was once married to Peter Cushing? They made a Whoopie Cushion My favourite comedian was Bob Monkhouse
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