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| Blogs > im_soaking_wet > Sessions with Soaking |
Does Sex Equal Love?
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Does Sex Equal Love? |
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The blog post can be found here too, without the typing mistakes: I have always held onto a set of beliefs in my life that I stand by. One of those beliefs is that sex does not equal love. That I might be in a relationship with one person, but if an indiscretion happens - it really shouldn't be the end of the world. Lives shouldn't be shattered or rocked. I don't believe humans were made to be monogamous and with one person for the entirety of their life. That being said, I know that not everyone agrees with my belief system. I know that I'm a little offside with a lot of my beliefs and my generally centrist ideologies. In this specific instance though, hear me out. If I am in a relationship, I am in that relationship because I adore the majority of things about that person. They way they listen when I talk, the cuddles as we go to sleep, the willingness to engage, their laugh, the way they look at me, their abilities as a human. I am in that relationship, regardless of their flaws. Some may say in spite of, but I believe flaws are a huge part of what makes a human, human. So, regardless of the persons flaws - i'm in. This doesn't mean that I wouldn't sit in a pub and think another human is good looking. It doesn't mean that I wouldn't think about their dick or how they would fuck. It doesn't mean that I don't continue to fantasize about people outside of my relationship with this one person. My person. If I choose to have a one night stand, casual sex with a random or friend, or make the decision to mutually masturbate with that person - why is that a problem? I still make the choice to be with my person. To go home to the one I love. To wake up and have breakfast and coffee with that person. Sex does not equal love. Sex is a basic human instinct that we all have and should embrace. So why is it so taboo? Why should we be denying our basic instincts, when in reality - it is who we are? Thoughts? Let's get an active discussion going.
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I think there are different kinds of love. Longstanding love that lasts, and short term passionate lust/love. Kind of like the difference between happiness and joy.
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A lot of people can't separate the two. Had friends that tried the lifestyle but ended up dropping out. She just couldn't follow the rules. Plus on of her "fwb's" turned into a predator and split the couple up for awhile. Good thing her man was a good one and they worked thru it.
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No, sex definitely does not equal love. If I was in a happy solid relationship I wouldn't even think of seeing or having sex with anyone else.. why risk what you have? What would your partner say if he found out? ... or does he see other people too? I might see a man and think ooh he's hot.. but would not take it any further.
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I think no. But, sex with love is the best. If I love him, I cannot abide by him having sex elsewhere. It woild be painful for me.
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10/14/2020 11:52 am |
For myself at least I am capable of sex on the basis of physical attraction alone, but I'm not capable of feeling in love with out there being actual regular sex. Not the Whole Truth but the truth that I can see.
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Sex does not equal love. Sex is a basic human instinct that we all have and should embrace. So why is it so taboo? Why should we be denying our basic instincts, when in reality - it is who we are? Separate emotions even if it requires the same tools. Sex is physical activity without caring what happens to the other person afterwards. Why is it taboo? Depends by whom
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I think the two are separate but in many instances the line is blurry. Great post.
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Sex and live are separate, and there are many kinds of love. I love my children , my friends and pets. In a committed relationship where we are lovers as well as friends, ongoing honest communication is essential. Perhaps it could turn into a swinger relationship with both agreeing to it. To sneak behind someone's back , is not acceptable. I am talking about looking or fantasizing about other people, that is in our nature. Yes it is complicated lol
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10/14/2020 12:33 pm |
Sex does not equal love, nor does love mean only sex.
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No, sex does not equal love. Sex is a vital part of most people's lives, but sometimes it is no longer present in a loving relationship - for a variety of reasons. Some people in a deep and loving relationship want to have sex with others, together or alone whilst maintaining their special bond. Others want the sexual aspect of their relationship to be exclusive to them. It is, and should always remain, the business only of the people involved. With that said, having sex with an outsider whilst being in a supposedly monogamous relationship should be an absolute no, no. All good relationships are based on trust. A purely sexual relationship is based on lust - not quite the same thing!
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Sex does not equal love. But it's complicated ...  Keep banging Soaks!  
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10/14/2020 12:53 pm |
A guy hooked me up with his wife and we had sex for three years, he asked me if I loved her I told him no and she said the same. It was just mutual sex which we enjoyed.
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10/14/2020 1:12 pm |
it is not the sex with others that strains a relationship. although the sexual act is what your SO can put a finger on... it is the broken trust that puts a wall between loving partners. although the picture of you fucking another hangs before the SO's eyes, it is the question of when will the next one cum that will linger long after words of forgiveness have been spoken. so yes i agree sex and love do not always share the same bed... love and trust are inseparable there is a world of difference between insanity and stupidity
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Sex does NOT equal love, and it's a truism. No belief required. A corollary to keep in mind; there's fucking, and making love, but you don't make love without a bunch of great fucking. Smart as a horse and hung like Einstein.
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To me they certainly are separate things, obviously I don’t love all the women that I have been with. Most id say that I “liked” them and formed a type of love for (as a friend or something). I know myself too though, and I wouldn’t step out for a one night stand or anything else if I was completely in love and being taken care of sexually. Nor would I tolerate it from her. To me if I get the great sex I know I need at home, why jeopardize it. Its not that I don’t fantasize, cuz no one can stop their natural tendencies, I’ll just stop there. So while I am a total man whore when I consider myself single, I do seek monogamy and at that level of a loving relationship they do become entwined, for me. Aut viam inveniam aut faciam Tips for Guys to Meet Women  Things i miss most about relationships
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welcome back! you were always one of my favourites and i've missed your blog posts.
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I Phon (F) get all the love I need from my loving husband, with all other men it's just raw sex which I love and my husband loves seeing me getting it as much as possible
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we use sex to understand others.... love is no expect
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10/15/2020 5:25 am |
I used to think sex was the same as love but as I have gotten older and my marriage ended I have started to realize that they are two separate things. If you truly love someone and you are together the sex part takes a back seat to the love you have for that person. I can go have sex with someone and yes if may be great sex but I dont have a true connection with the person. Its sex and sex only. If I am in a relationship with someone its sex and all the other things that go with it. Waking up next to her, having deep conversation and wanting to be around them. So why the need for outside sex? I do believe that humans like most animals were not meant to be with only one person. Doesn't mean we are incapable of love but that we have needs and instincts that are above that. I have all the respect in the world for those that are together in every sense of the word. I just dont feel its right for me.
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Not the same. I feel varying degrees of love for everyone I've had sex with. ("To all the girls I've loved before...  ) And there's a more lasting love for my wife.
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No problem if you are both in an open relationship but if he is expecting you to be his one and only you are a cheater. it is about being truthful honest and faithful. You want your cake and eat it too. Seems a bit self centered. You are right they are not the same thing. I have not had sex with anyone I have loved yet. All mine have been open and never reached the just the two of us forever stage. There were women i was in love with that I never got to be with. However some people equate sex only with people they are in love with. I guess it works for them.
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I enjoy this, it makes sense, have sex with others, enjoy like is to short Thank you
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I think we certainly got the dialogue going with this one! One of the coolest things about life is how everyone’s background, baggage, lifestyle - dictates the response to this. These are the parts of being human, that I find utterly intriguing.
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When you love a person, you are with them, despite everything, even if the sex is bad. I think that if sex is bad, it is because in reality, everything is bad in everyday life, and the relationship will not last as such. When everything works in daily life and in bed and there is not only love, but also complicity, you don't need anyone else.
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