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Shallow Hal  

gottaring 52F
10306 posts
8/17/2012 5:30 pm
Shallow Hal

This post is only viewable by Black Flirting members.
Join Black Flirting now!

When it comes to sex, I need a STRONG connection. Otherwise, the page just keeps buffering and takes FOREVER to load...


ABBC12356 41M
2268 posts
4/15/2016 3:33 am

GOOD


KarlBloggerfeld 54M
8624 posts
8/21/2012 1:11 pm

Point taken - anybody can look better with soft focus lenses and professional photographers clicking away.

The larger (no pun intended) point was that people weren't nominating dudes with profile pics like me and 40Deuce (sorry if you read this, dude) for sexiest photo. And I don't blame them for that, my earlier protestations to the contrary notwithstanding.

Good looks almost always play a big role in initial attraction. But even the best looks can't make someone with the personality of a bag of bricks attractive ... UNLESS the other person also has the personality of a bag of bricks, then it's birds of a feather.

karlbloggerfeld - Dry-humping your legs since 2007.


gunner4440 49M
2657 posts
8/20/2012 9:40 am

I am a firm believer that "pretty on the outside doesn't mean pretty on the inside". I have seen/been around numerous very attractive people who I would rather punch in the face than attempt to have a conversation with. Being intelligent and articulate goes a lot further in making me want to be around you than good looks. I believe in this because, quite frankly, I wasn't winning any prizes for my looks before i decided to try to tear half my head off. Let's just say it didn't improve things.
As for looking like a cancer patient, been there, done that. Mine was that I looked like Dr. Frankensteins weekend project. I still wear a hat when I can, because I really would like a conversation to start with something other than "what did you do to your head?".
That's my two cents worth, guns are cold.

Take it easy, guns are cold.


gottaring replies on 8/21/2012 11:48 am:
I wonder sometimes, Gunner.

I am tempted to post a photo of my current mess and see if I lose any watchers. It wouldn't bother me if I did, because those folks would have been here strictly for the stroke material anyway. I'd like to think that my readers would stick around- I guess I hope that the majority are here for the content, but you never know.

Fortunately for all of you, I can't upload pics till my PC comes home .

rm_4jasmine2 53F
10698 posts
8/20/2012 9:12 am

I could mail someone for months without a pic and sometimes, if I do see one, could feel so (unpleasantly) surprised, not sure I want to continue.
But generally, the looks come after a sexy and humorous mind. Catch me there and your looks wont matter to me.

Something interesting in my life: A surprise on my naked body this morning
Come visit my blog to know what I get up to from time to time: [blog 4jasmine2]


gottaring replies on 8/21/2012 11:46 am:
I agree! That's what I love about Blogville- being able to get to know someone on an intellectual level almost negates the importance of their physical attributes. If you can make me laugh and make me think, I don't really care what you look like .

_hotbeefnjection 37M

8/19/2012 7:15 pm

Hey, I just want to say don't you are incredibly hot, both inside and out. Not to sell your photos short because they are VERY sexy, but I become much more physically attracted to someone when I discover they have a beautiful heart. I, (I should mention) as well as a ton of other Black Flirting users, love reading your blog. You're intelligent, open, funny, and I'm always entertained by what you have to say. Keep it up


gottaring replies on 8/20/2012 6:00 am:
Well thank you, HBI. But the familiarity in your comments makes me wonder if you aren't a new member after all. Have we crossed paths under a different profile name?

Han54boat 71M
11637 posts
8/19/2012 9:16 am

One thing about coming to your blog is that you can hit a home run.
Those are some good questions and comments.
Physical is little important because it gets you in the front door. Character will make it or break it. It is what you are focusing on and being blind to all else.

Over time, what do you truly want out of the relationship?


Cum to my blog and respond. Have a great kissing fun time.


gottaring replies on 8/22/2012 6:38 pm:
Well said! It all boils down to what you're looking for- someone pretty to wake up next to, or someone who will BE THERE and stimulate your heart and mind.

Interestingly enough, if you have the second item, the person becomes attractive to you. It doesn't always work the other way around.

KarlBloggerfeld 54M
8624 posts
8/19/2012 8:18 am

Inner beauty blah, good personality blah, good hearted blah... horse shit (cough).

You wouldn't expect me to throw empty platitudes at you, now would you?

Let's take a look at the recent Perv Olympics "Sexiest Photo" nominees and winners. Not too many guys with little dicks, beer guts and back hair getting nominated were there? And the women? I must have missed all those nominations for the 300 pound ladies.

No doubt, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, my best friend and I argue about whether Emma Stone is attractive (I say yes, he says no). But that needs to be put in the context of "leading lady movie star" attractive. If Emma Stone LITERALLY was in the room next to my friend and was flirting with him, he'd be stepping on his own tongue.

Do looks matter for physical attraction? Well, duh. Does it make all you women who didn't nominate me for "Sexiest photo" shallow? No. It makes you rational human beings who prefer cut abs and big muscles. What would make a person shallow is if they use looks as the predominant factor in choosing people with whom they associate.

karlbloggerfeld - Dry-humping your legs since 2007.


gottaring replies on 8/21/2012 11:41 am:
I'm tossing the bullshit flag on this one, Brad.

I think there are plenty of bloggers (male and female- regardless of weight) who would have qualified for the Sexiest Photo medals based on how sexy their photo was. Don't believe me? I can name three BBW off the top of my head who, with the right photographer and lighting, would knock anyone's fucking socks off. To me, the Sexiest Profile Photo and Sexiest HNW Photo contests were about PHOTOS, not PHYSIQUES.

And I hate to break it you, but I'm not a size six. I'm a bigger gal and I'd venture to say that I'd at least have gotten nominated for my HNW pics if I had been eligible.

Do I think you're sexy? Hell yes! And I thought so back when you were sporting the Elvis jumpsuit. Don't sell yourself short just because you didn't get nominated, lol. I wouldn't toss you out of bed for eating crackers .

Diogenes5959 64M

8/19/2012 6:45 am

Have you ever dated someone who wasn't considered 'attractive' by others?

This is probably a better question for the women who've gone out with me.

I was married to a woman who most people would not consider attractive. I wasn't really attracted to her until after several dates, but I could see the inside and that was attractive. Unfortunately the inside ended up being ugly.


gottaring replies on 8/21/2012 11:29 am:
Your first statement implies that you don't think you would be considered conventionally attractive by most people, and I beg to differ with that. Maybe it's my bias based on knowing you for a while...dunno. Maybe I just have a different opinion on what makes a person attractive.

Let's be honest- we spoke for months before I ever saw your face. There was no way I could find you to be anything but handsome and sexy when I finally met you. And I admit that I hoped that the same would apply to me when we hung out this past weekend. I hoped that there were others factors you found to be appealing which would negate the fact that I look like shit right now.

Are you any less attractive to me because we aren't sleeping together? Nope. As I discussed with Sailfast, once I put someone on the pedestal, it takes a lot to knock 'em off.

bustybettyboop 57F
59311 posts
8/18/2012 6:53 pm

i've met a variety of men attractive and otherwise! with me its all about chemistry! i have actually found..*blush* that some of my best lovers weren't so attractive!

..just join me on my blog bustybettyboop and still looking for some hot,sexy,creative contestants for my next contest...come join us! need a blog mentor or want to be one?


gottaring replies on 8/21/2012 11:30 am:
But I bet they were attractive to you because the chemistry was right!

spiderj72 51M
7898 posts
8/18/2012 4:00 pm

i think the brain has a lot to answer for. it more often than not rules out the heart and creates issues for us all. i do hope things go well with your meet, trust me i will always get wood when i think about you.


gottaring replies on 8/18/2012 4:10 pm:
I know you're being flip and lighthearted and sweet when you say that, but it really does mean a lot to me, Spidey.

So, thanks .

gardenboy321 60M  
41936 posts
8/18/2012 10:22 am

The heart perceives it's own sense of beauty.

Thoughts from the Garden...


FEAB1968 55F  
4441 posts
8/18/2012 8:11 am

I'll admit to being initially attracted to a person by their physical characteristics.

There was an occasion where I was not attracted to a guys face. Although I did and do like his personality. After fumbling with myself on being 'shallow', I thought I would take a spin. His skill and qualities as a lover are right where I would need them to be. Here is the but: I found myself requesting doggy style from him. Now granted I do enjoy this position, my reason(s) for the request were based on how he looked though. After the realization, I chose not to be in bed with him again.

Everyone has characteristics they choose to qualify a person as a lover. Part of my qualifications happen to be physical attraction. That said, what I find attractive is not the same as others.

For the record there have been several men I found physically attractive, but did not have sex with them because their personality was shit.

Visit my blog FEAB1968
What39s a FEAB


citizen4722 66M  
74582 posts
8/18/2012 8:06 am

Keep the faith I always go for personality and not looks. Obviously it would be ideal if you both saw each other's face once you reach the friend zone online but this doesn't always have to be the case.


MyNameIsKay 62F  
11887 posts
8/17/2012 11:21 pm

I am currently seeing a gentleman that I put off for several months. He had pictures on his profile, so I knew what he looked like...in theory. But I wasn't interested. He was polite and respectful of my reason for not wanting to go out with him. But he was persistent about keeping in touch. After almost 3 months of e-mail and eventually texts, I felt connected enough and curious enough to finally meet. It was spur-of-the-moment, although he was halfway down the road to my town when I finally agreed to meet. (Was he just hopeful or confident???)

I was not dressed as I would have liked for a first impression, although in retrospect, is the first time we laid eyes on each other really when we had that first impression? "No make-up and no cleavage," I texted him. He texted back, "Me either."

The spark wasn't there at the beginning of the correspondence, but it grew over time so that by the time we met, I think my brain had no choice but to like what I saw. Do I think he's good-looking? Hell yes. Did I at first?? I'm not sure, but the truth of the matter is I can only see him as I do now.

Swim...Bike...Done


SimplyinBC 47F  
502 posts
8/17/2012 10:13 pm

    Quoting BrownEyedBBW:
    As I'm fond of saying, "I don't do ugly" Every man I've ever been with has been very attractive to me (well there was that blonde guy. On an objective level he was good looking but...blonde). The key here is "to me". Someone might have looked at them and thought, "my, he's bald/short/geeky/awkward/weak eyed/knock kneed/etc but to me they were all Greek Gods.

    Ever meet someone whom you initally thought to be attractive until you got to know them?
    Oh god yes. There is nothing worse than post sex chit chat with a beautiful man who is as dumb as a post. After he says "I don't like to read books" all I heard was white noise.......

    How much of attraction is physical and how much is based on personality?
    I think this varies wildly from person to person and situation to situation.

    Could you chat with someone for months without seeing their face?
    I could, but that person will almost certainly end up in the friend

    The brain sees what the heart wants it to
    Absolutely.
What she said, so succinctly


w00f 49F
1087 posts
8/17/2012 10:10 pm

So many questions in that head of yours! Its good to ask, its good to have self doubt. How someone sees you is really their perception but its also how you project yourself.

Take your hair for example. You're doing something that means a lot to you and it won't happen overnight. If you feel vulnerable then don't go anywhere that might bring you down. There are plenty of other people who will shrug and still love you.

I've dated good looking men from others' perspective. I've also dated 'creative' people who couldn't give a shit how they were perceived. They were just really fun people to me. I don't care what others say. They can't see the mind anyway. And I am not very curious myself - I don't care what someone looks like. I do care if they care about me.

Good luck with tomorrow x.


gottaring replies on 8/18/2012 4:09 pm:
On my way to the casino, I stopped at my friends house for lunch. She saw my hair and said, 'Yup. Looks like shit. But keep thinking about the end-game.'. See,THAT to me is a true friend. She's not saying what she thinks I want to hear- she understands that patronizing me isn't the way to go.

Granted, she also said that the headband I was wearing suited me and that I can totally get away with looking like a foreign Olivia Newton-John, lol. She loves me .

I know I'm more than a head of hair. I know that my true friends will still love me. I know I have you and many others on this site rooting for me (and it means more than you know).

Thanks for being here, Babe .

BrownEyedBBW 55F  
8831 posts
8/17/2012 9:39 pm

As I'm fond of saying, "I don't do ugly" Every man I've ever been with has been very attractive to me (well there was that blonde guy. On an objective level he was good looking but...blonde). The key here is "to me". Someone might have looked at them and thought, "my, he's bald/short/geeky/awkward/weak eyed/knock kneed/etc but to me they were all Greek Gods.

Ever meet someone whom you initally thought to be attractive until you got to know them?
Oh god yes. There is nothing worse than post sex chit chat with a beautiful man who is as dumb as a post. After he says "I don't like to read books" all I heard was white noise.......

How much of attraction is physical and how much is based on personality?
I think this varies wildly from person to person and situation to situation.

Could you chat with someone for months without seeing their face?
I could, but that person will almost certainly end up in the friend

The brain sees what the heart wants it to
Absolutely.


hornyguyMN 43M
16352 posts
8/17/2012 9:03 pm

I can't count the number of times that I've found someone attractive until I actually talked to them and realized they weren't. And there are people who I didn't find overly attractive until I talked to them and realized how awesome they were.


buxombbw4u 56F
16144 posts
8/17/2012 8:42 pm

Ok, here's a little known secret - I've been chatting with a man online for oh, I don't know... a year or two maybe... and I've never seen his face. I probably never will. But it doesn't matter. I know he's a good man, smart, funny, witty, and intelligent. If we ever did meet, I am pretty sure it would be fantastic.

Personality trumps everything to me. If they are ugly on the inside, they can be the best looking man on the outside and I'll never be interested. And if they are smart and witty and intelligent and humorous, and let's not forget kind-hearted, their appearance is going to just be amplified as a result.

Hmmm, that's quite a list I wrote. I'm not sure if there is any man who is all of those things. But I'll keep looking until I find him.

2022... it HAS be better, right?!


helen_damnation 61F  
2487 posts
8/17/2012 8:06 pm

I am more a Rosemary type, although not nearly as purehearted and altruistic as she was. But some people have found me attractive beyond the boobs and loved me for who I was. I miss that.
And yes, I have dated those less than attractive. Even missing teeth. Now I do love a beautiful smile, but ya know, there are some advantages to toothlessness....

I am the only Me you get.


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