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| Blogs > gottaring > Out of the Mouth of a Babe... |
My Tight Ass (P.S. It's not THAT Kind of Post)
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My Tight Ass (P.S. It's not THAT Kind of Post) Ever wake up in a strange hotel room and know that 'sumthin just ain't right'? I'm hungover- not gonna deny it. Parts of last night are a barely discernible blur...there was a sports bar and beer and a few games of pool. Then a casino and more beer. So now I'm laying here and I'm a bit achy and then the realization hit me: Yup. I'm pretty sure I took it up the ass last night. I'm a bit of a novice at that sort of thing...I can't really remember the last time I did it, so I know it's been a while. Hubby and I tried it a few times and I don't think the results were any better, but it stung a whole lot less- probably because I didn't have to hide it afterward, lol. THAT GUY isn't much more experienced with this type of thing which is why it surprises me that he went along with my suggestion (I'm assuming it was my idea- he's not as adventurous as I am). If I hadn't been so schnockered, I probably would have had the sense to look online first to see if there were any good tips or tricks to stanch the bleeding. Hindsight is 20/20... I'm MARRIED, for Chrissakes! I can't be engaging in such behavior without some ramifications, ya know. I mean, I can't exactly hide this from Hubby when I get home- he'll know as soon as he sees me because he can read me like a book. I don't know how he'll feel about it- I mean, I've done this with other people before I met him so it's not totally out of left-field. And he knew something might happen because I told him where I was going and who I'd be with. But even I didn't anticipate getting bent over like a five dollar . Fucking Three Card Poker.  $250 down the drain and nothing to show for it except a dull throbbing in my frontal lobe. Damn you, Hollywood Casino, with your transvestite lounge singers and hoards of waddling, middle-class, track-suit wearing masses. Damn you all to hell! Wait- y'all didn't think I was actually talking about anal sex, did you?  Unrelated postscript: Settle a bet for me...What's the rule on post-coital communication these days? Is it still considered polite for the gent to text or email the lady the next day just to say hi (assuming they are FWB and not NSA)? Or is it antiquated thinking to put the onus on the man to initiate contact? When it comes to sex, I need a STRONG connection. Otherwise, the page just keeps buffering and takes FOREVER to load... |
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GOOD
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very nice body babe !!
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ROTFLMAO...Glad your funny bone is working! Thanks for the smiles!
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Kudos! That was simply brilliant! What's the old joke, "liquor in the front, poker in the rear"?
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 I was thinking, Hot damn, she took it in the ass and is telling us!!!??? Thanks for the chuckle.After hearing of some tremendous losses at the casino by my customers, I'll relay to them to tell everyone they got screwed in Vegas...haha. At almost 44, I still want/expect the guy to contact me *shrug*
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gottaring replies on 8/20/2012 7:55 am: Would I rather be spanked or have anal? I truly don't know the answer to that. Luckily, I dont have to decide because, in theory, i can have both. Unfortunately, right now, the truth is that I have neither. Dammit. If it makes you feel any better, you are not the only one in the SorrySexLife club. I wish I knew how to quit it. (ok, so technically, I know how, but a having a willing partner is a requirement.) I am the only Me you get.
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Yeah, yeah... you just want us to think you were playing poker. karlbloggerfeld - Dry-humping your legs since 2007.
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LMAO! You know this is going to get a zillion visits right? It's some of the more snarkily brilliant writing I've seen you do in a while. Bravo! As for the gambling, there is a reason that the casino gives you free booze, and it's not because they like you!  Personally I play blackjack, because with basic strategy the house edge is greatly reduced. As for the post coital text/call, I'm rather eagerly awaiting the modern results too. I'm a bit of a traditionalist so yes, unless something went horribly awful, I'd be calling/texting to be civil. That's my two cents worth, guns are cold. Take it easy, guns are cold. 
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You had me at hello. You sly devil you.  As to your Post-Script. I may be old fashion. I always contact my dates within 24 hours or less, regardless of the experience. I also think is perfectly OK for the women to contact first.
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Hmmm I was starting to wonder about you...lol.
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I was pretty sure there was a twist. Glad you had a fun night! Kisses, LA Kisses, LA   
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8/19/2012 9:53 pm |
gambling is the devil...you should try anal sex instead 
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8/19/2012 8:12 pm |
Three card poker? Just think what a real game of poker would have cost you.
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You got me haha . So a good time time eh?
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(carefully tries to wipe the cola from her monitor and keyboards after spitting all over it) Oh gawd girl.. you are NOT right! That is probably the VERY best funny I have read in weeks! "You've seen my descent, Now watch my rising!" - Rumi Some women are lost in the fire. Some women are forged from it - Michele K.
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I fell for it hook, line and sinker  
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Ooooh spanking! On the pool table, under the pool table, at the dinner table. I am all for spanking! Now taking it up the ass in any form...not so much. I am the only Me you get.
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8/19/2012 3:36 pm |
Wait, so you're not talking about anal sex? Because I was really hoping you were.
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I knew there was a curve ball coming.
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As soon as you said "read me like a book," I thought "tells," which lead me to "poker." So that's when I "got it." (Plus, the title ... I mean. I can't be the only one who's "frugal." ) But I *did* start to wonder for a titch! This is my blog - [blog _Safira]. There are many like it, but this one is mine. RECOMMENDED READING: A F F The Only Site For Me
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ok, you had me going, and I thought "I can't believe I'm reading this." . Lol fyi, with 3 card poker if that's all you lost, you did pretty well!  2022... it HAS be better, right?!
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You had me going my sweet! You really did, and visuals playing out in my head were quite intense!  Thoughts from the Garden...
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