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| Blogs > kzoopair > Take two- they're small |
A Treatise on Age and Amorousness
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A Treatise on Age and Amorousness As suggested by [blog humorguaranteed] the topic of the first scheduled symposium shall be "Age and Amorousness." I offer this as my contribution. Age and amorousness. What could I possibly write that hasn't been better said before? People are easily obsessed with sex, usually their own, but not always. It's also pretty easy to get fixated on the sexual habits of others. We wouldn't have Kardashians or Miley Cyruses without that fixation- clearly they can do nothing other than project a certain sexuality. When Madonna was a new phenomenon I recall women hoisting their noses into the upper atmosphere, where it is very cold, and declaiming that as long as there are men there will be Madonnas. It was just what I needed- more disapproval from women simply for being male. Some women I knew were really creeped out by Bob Dole's ad spot for Viagra. I, on the other hand, thought it was very cool that he made erectile dysfunction easier for older guys to admit to and talk about. When men are young they will fuck anything that moves and a number of things that can't. They will also jump off high bridges attached only by a rubber band. The young man's motto is "Hold my beer and watch this!" That motto is generally believed to apply only to rednecks and hillbillies. This is an error. There is a reason the military is heavily populated with young men- their brains are not fully developed. Football is a sport for young men. Now and then you will find an older man, still believing himself to be young, still playing football. He isn't hard to locate. Google "emailed dick pics" and he's sure to come up. This also serves as a gauge of the state of brain development. The man may still be technically young. Old men are also willing to fuck anything that moves. They simply lack the energy or the erection to do so. George Burns famously said that trying to have sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. It can also be dicey finding a willing female partner as old age encroaches. Usually large amounts of money are required. I checked yootoob and found no video of buxom young women chasing homeless men down the street, overcome with lust. Put an expensive Italian suit on that same man, give him a private jet and a mansion with multiple jacuzzis, and an entourage of celebrities will magically appear. Young women will naturally want to know what all the fuss is about and thus are drawn into the trap. Once in the snare, they will actually be found competing for the attentions of a decrepit and wizened old lecher. money may not buy happiness but it can procure a reasonable facsimlie. Most of us do not imagine Hugh Hefner sitting alone in one of several bedrooms pondering what fate has brought him to, what he has become. He may do it, but it's hard for us to believe it. If a man makes his money early in life it may alter his perspective on amorousness. It may also alter his perspective on a great many other things, insofar as it can still be called perspective. George Bernard Shaw once said that William Randolph Hearst's San Simeon was the kind of place God would have built if he'd had the money. But that is another post. This one is about amorousness. If a man can afford women, and also afford to pay them to go away, it's bound to put ideas in his head. He might just slide from monogamy to serial monogamy to open adultery as easily as I slide into the seat of a twenty three year old pickup truck. I might want to slide into a twenty three year old, but all I can afford is the Ford. Pelham Grenville Wodehouse, the consummate craftsman of the written word in English, commented on this practice, in particular as it was engaged in on our side of the pond. "Like so many substantial citizens of America, he had married young and kept on marrying, springing from blonde to blonde like the chamois of the Alps leaping from crag to crag." Here is demonstrated the beauty of quotes- I need write no more- the paragraph is complete. It would be presumptuous of me to attempt to deliver the woman's perspective on this topic. She can speak for herself, and in fact that is the reason I got hooked on this site. I liked reading what women thought and wrote about sex. I still don't know quite what that is. I get the impression that some of them are angry about something that involves men. Apparently a number of the men are also angry about something that involves women. I think that this is an entrepreneurial opportunity for the right people to seize- a website for people who are angry with one another and wish to copulate. I'm not wishing them away from Swampflounder- I love a good rant and a diatribe is even better. I am giving this idea away for free. I don't need the opportunity. I'm content with my pickup truck. At least some of the time it still works. Become a member now and get a free tote bag. |
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I don't know that I was really being all that honest. We can all see that there is some truth to these observations, but it just isn't accurate to generalize the way I did here. There are more young women who make sensitive decisions about who they will love than there are gold diggers, but we really notice the hot gold diggers. I was right about the young men, though. Everywhere you look in the world and find violence and stupidity, you will find young men, and usually they are young men who aren't getting laid. Give 'em a few bucks and some regular tail and most Islamic fundamentalists would think twice about meeting Allah any time soon. There will always be nut jobs who don't respond well to nookie therapy, though. I cringe every time I see a profile, male or female, touting sexual prowess. In the same vein, any time someone tells me he or she is very intelligent, I want to ask who they think will get voted of the island first. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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9/2/2014 9:30 am |
Interesting take on things Kz "Give'em a few bucks and some regular tail and most Islamic fundamentalists would think twice about meeting Allah anytime soon... I've read some angry posts from both genders I guess when they realize that its not going to be and easy task of finding that like minded person it becomes discouraging and frustrating. I just sit back and enjoy the show.Please, just call me diggy.
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Interesting take on things Kz "Give'em a few bucks and some regular tail and most Islamic fundamentalists would think twice about meeting Allah anytime soon... I've read some angry posts from both genders I guess when they realize that its not going to be and easy task of finding that like minded person it becomes discouraging and frustrating. I just sit back and enjoy the show.Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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Oh my dog but this post was written in a style that I most admire! " I think that this is an entrepreneurial opportunity for the right people to seize- a website for people who are angry with one another and wish to copulate." Excellent idea! I think that is the funniest thing I've read today (and believe me, being a comedy writer, I read a lot of funny things everyday) Kitkat The observant make the best lovers, I may not do right, but I do write, I have bliss, joy, and happiness in my life, Kitkat Come check out my blog KItkat1415 check out this post by me Adventures In Body Grooming #39 April Topic Link: What Lies Beneath If April Showers Oh Bloody Hell What Kind Of Weather Turns Me On Bloggers Symposium 40
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Oh my dog but this post was written in a style that I most admire! " I think that this is an entrepreneurial opportunity for the right people to seize- a website for people who are angry with one another and wish to copulate." Excellent idea! I think that is the funniest thing I've read today (and believe me, being a comedy writer, I read a lot of funny things everyday) Kitkat Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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I guess at my age I have more use for the pickup. The truck, I mean. The other pickup might be entertaining for a spell but in no time at all she'd be bitching about my farts and toenail clippings. The clippings I can kind of understand but I take offense at someone criticizing my farts. I put a lot of effort into them. Toenails I can grow without straining an eyebrow. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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Regarding your comments about significantly older gentlemen who are still sexually active (a category to which I one day hope to aspire), I am reminded of a comment Jimmy Kimmel made when the Friar's Club roasted Hugh Hefner: "I've read just about every issue of Playboy since I was fifteen years old and not once did I see a Playmate say her turn-ons was fucking a 75 year-old man." So maybe, just maybe, there really is a market for a service that enables angry people to copulate? Because I know that, were I in Hef's position and Kimmel's comment was true, I'd be pretty mad... Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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I think Hef knows where he stands pretty clearly. He might be a rich hedonist but I don't think he's stupid. Maybe my next profile of a liberated woman should be Judy Holiday's character Billie Dawn in "Born Yesterday". Judy killed in that role. The website for angry horny fuckers already exists and we're on it. Not all of us are angry but the irritated and the enraged are well represented. It sounded like an interesting niche website though. You know, I really think I enjoy life more now that I've dropped out of the hunt. The thrill of the chase just ain't what it used to be. I like to flirt and I like to look...well, OK I like touching, too. Aw, fuck it, who am I fooling? Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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hahaha... I'm so totally messed up apparently  I picked up a hitchhiker... significantly older than I am too... and lust after him haha. Though I admit I did say no at all the offers he made.
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Oooo- you should write that one up. And don't let the truth stand in the way of a good story, a mistake I never make. What turns us on can be so mysterious. Some twenty years ago i asked a question of a clerk in a health food store. She was a lot older than me and I suppose not especially attractive in a conventional way. Maybe it was her scent- that's what I remember most. She went ridiculously out of her way to help me and stayed close... I really wanted to fuck her. But I didn't. I wish to hell I had. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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Thanks, Buni. It's really sad, but I can't help but laugh about it. It isn't good form to dope slap an angry person, and I can't run that fast anymore. I am seriously troubled by some of the rage I see expressed here. It took me years to figure out that getting that mad hurts me more than anyone else. You just can't be rational when you're too pissed off to see straight. Easy for me to say- I have evreything that I need. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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Great blog...Write on... Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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KZ you have an very interesting take on age and amorousness. Very well written and well done! Loved it. I think this group will work out nicely in blog land every month post about different topics or your take on the topics as no one thinks the same. hugssssssssssssss V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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KZ you have an very interesting take on age and amorousness. Very well written and well done! Loved it. I think this group will work out nicely in blog land every month post about different topics or your take on the topics as no one thinks the same. hugssssssssssssss V Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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I think I was born angry and I've been horny since a very young age. As I age, I am less angry and more practical about who and what makes me horny. That homeless guy might be a real hunk, but all I find myself thinking is...wow, I bet he smells! Besides, if he's too hungry, he won't have the stamina for a good fuck and you can't feed him before you screw him, because there's the chance he'll puke it up if the sex is too exerting. I think practicality is what kills a womans libido as we age.
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I think I was born angry and I've been horny since a very young age. As I age, I am less angry and more practical about who and what makes me horny. That homeless guy might be a real hunk, but all I find myself thinking is...wow, I bet he smells! Besides, if he's too hungry, he won't have the stamina for a good fuck and you can't feed him before you screw him, because there's the chance he'll puke it up if the sex is too exerting. I think practicality is what kills a womans libido as we age. Practicality don't do a man's libido much good either, when he gets a few years on him. Fortunately for the young, the practical never enters into the calculations. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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Man, this was a really well written post!  I really liked the George Burn's reference, that part was freaking hilarious!  Speaking of movies, I watched The Mask the other day, and Cher looked amazing, so much so I download The Witches of Eastwick, just to get another look of how she once was  I like the name drop on Shaw, I've read a lot of his stuff.Greater Than The Sum Of My Constituent Parts!
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Thanks! I agree- Cher was hot. Even before she changed her nose. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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I think that is quite right! This is exactly what my wife tells me- she wishes she had known then what she knows now. I'm really pleased that you took the time to read this and comment on it. Come back soon, and often. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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I really enjoyed reading this post and found the parts that were intended to be amusing, amusing and the parts that were intended to be insightful and wise, insightful and wise... I'm not that interested in how much money a man has, that shit can evaporate in a heartbeat if there's a crook accountant or a stock-market crash and if he's loving, genuine, sensitive to my needs and feelings and keeps his body in shape, I don't mind if he drives a pick-up that is of pensionable age or his cock never gets fully hard as long as he's not going to make me miserable. I can forgive age-spots and wrinkles but not goutiness. *hugs* I wish I'd read this post sooner.  Yeah, a lot of this is tongue-in-cheek but there's truth in there too- I think! I will flatter myself now, that I have a natural talent for being a horse's ass. I would always prefer to sit in the back row and heckle than make a meaningful contribution. There's no pressure. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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Some of my older posts could prove very entertaining too, dear kzoo. xoxo. I checked out that Appalachian English link on U-toob and found it very entertaining and informative... I instinctively understood what they meant when they first said "Si-gogglin", my first impression was that they meant the angles were not in keeping with Pythagoras' theorem and their explanation bore this out. They do have a slighly musical element to their speech. Thank you for the address to research it. *hugs* That Appalachian English and Southern English, although perceived as ignorant for most of our history, have become pretty popular in first books and then movies. Mark Twain was a master at Midwestern backwoods English and William Faulkner had an ear for Southern English. You can tell if the writer is writing what he knows or is faking it if you have some familiarity yourself. A number of actors have butchered the impression, and Jack Kerouac, brilliant as he was at spontaneous prose, absolutely murdered black American dialect in his final novel, Pic. He just didn't know how it sounded or how to reconstruct it. It's embarrassing to read, and it was personally painful for me- I love Kerouac. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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