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| Blogs > kzoopair > Take two- they're small |
My Dick Pics
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My Dick Pics Swampflounder would not allow them. If I were holding public office, I'd be ridiculed for showing, publishing, displaying or otherwise drawing attention to a facsimile of my dick. I might even be prohibited from approaching within a certain distance of playgrounds, and perhaps I might be barred from living in particular neighborhoods. Swampflounder does not see it that way. Here, in my profile, my dick pictures were censored. Disallowed. Prohibited. I reckon I am not the first clown to attempt it- showing pics of my dick- and most likely will not be the last. It doesn't exactly hurt, per se, but it is a bit of a disappointment. Maybe I'll be allowed a post about my experience. Here goes....  If you're disappointed by this display......seriously, how could you be disappointed. You really didn't come here to see shocking photos of some old man's dick- did you?    Become a member now and get a free tote bag. |
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Finally! A comment! This post is so fucking lame and stupid I was certain everyone would take one look, mutter "Fucking asshole" and wander off disappointed. I have to admit I was a bit blown away by the rapid fashion in which people stumbled over each other to get here as soon as I posted that title, trampling the slow and the weak in the process. But, having got here, no one was quite sure what to say. After milling around in a small crowd, shaking their heads and mumbling obscenities, and finding that there are no refreshments, all departed in silence. Except you, my friend. I knew I could count on you. I actually did try to post these in an album in my profile, thinking "couldn't hurt", but I was thwarted by the censors. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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I get that. I just thought it was worth a shot. I also thought it seemed a little lame, but hell, I ain't scared. If I were scared of looking stupid I'd never open my mouth, or write anything. It does seem, well, hilarious, that anywhere else I could get in real trouble for exposing myself, and yet here I was censored for NOT exposing myself. Rules not withstanding. I once thought about making up a bunch of absurdly hyperbolic testimonials touting my sexual prowess. I am made very uncomfortable when folks here brag about what sexual athletes and artists they are. I thought it might be a hoot to mock that behavior without getting personal with anyone. I think I messaged you about it and then thought better of it. It began to seem a bit tacky. Like this post. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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Thank you Mel. In retrospect, it's kind of a dumb stunt, you know? But honestly, the whole dick pic thing kind of gets to me. Most women claim they are a turn off. I don't believe all of them, but I do believe most of them. We all have different triggers. It seems strange to me that It's such a transgression out there in the world, but here on the internet my failure to parade my dick before thousands got me shot down. Dicks, good. Dumb jokes, bad. It IS kind of interesting that on this web site, where it is almost universally declared that dick pics are repulsive and unattractive and a sure turn off, I got a lot of traffic very quickly- unusual for a blog like mine. Had I titled my post: "The monomaniacal quest of Ahab" would as many new people have visited? Ahab was searching for dick.... Or am i just being a horse's ass again? Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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Lol... You probably didn't see my third comment on your 'treatise... ' post. I think this post was fun, there are people who do the "I've got a big cock" post with pictures of freakishly disproportionately large roosters and this post is in a similar vein. If you had titled your post "The monomaniacal quest for Ahab", you almost certainly would have got no more than comments from best friends on here. I actually appreciate cock pics but not as the main image... On occasion, I have welcomed guests to my home who seemed dreamy in every other way... Sweet, fun, intelligent, ego in check, great physique, nice face and as soon as they've got their pants around their ankles, I've been confronted with the most apallingly unappetizing piece of meat I've seen in possibly years and have had to tell them that I just couldn't. The thought of putting their gruesome surprise in my mouth made me dry-reach. Now, I like to know what's being offered before I start talking to them about putting it in my mouth. Some cocks are seriously repulsive. I'd be very surprised if yours is. I doubt that my equipment is very different than any other male organ. But it's a little bit like the Marine Corps Rifle Creed: This is my rifle. There are many like it, but this one is mine. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me my rifle is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless. I must fire my rifle true. I must shoot straighter than the enemy who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will. My rifle and I know that what counts in war is not the rounds we fire, the noise of our burst, or the smoke we make. We know that it is the hits that count. We will hit. My rifle is human, even as I am human, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strengths, its parts, its accessories, its sights and its barrel. I will keep my rifle clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other. Before God I swear this creed. My rifle and I are the defenders of my country. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviors of my life. So be it, until victory is America's and there is no enemy. Not EXACTLY like that, but...you get the idea. My rifle is special to me. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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I wanted to post something but just couldn't find the right words, they fail me at times. I woke up from a nap and song was in my head and then I knew what to write. So let me set the scene: Boogie-woogie music playing, "the Killer" himself at the piano singing: Oh, I shake all over and you know why I'm sure it's love and that's no lie 'Cause when you call my name you know I burn like wood inflamed You leave me Ahhhh- BREATHless- ah And you know with a dick like that it is only natural that there are great balls too: You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain Too much a-love drives a [girl] insane you broke my will, what a thrill Goodness gracious Great balls of fire! Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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OK. I'll show it to you. You are approximately one hundred and forty seven miles away, roughly two hours and eleven minutes in light traffic (ha!). We can meet half way, or one of us can do the whole trip. (I do not have my passport updated, so there's that.) Name a day. Your move. And yes, there is a bit of false bravado here. But, let's run with it and see where it ends up. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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You won't be sorry you came. I'll leave the light on for you.  And I got this result: Your comment has been denied due to the following reason: Banned Topics (hate/weapons/under age). Feel free to submit a new comment. What the fuck? How fucking stupid was that? Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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It's just funny that I got censored for not posting any real dicks. Anthony Weiner lost his job for exposing the OUTLINE of his cock covered in skivvies in the "world" but here I got denied for...Dick Cheney? Now that I think about it, I guess Nixon and Cheney ARE more obscene than penises. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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I thought that you would call my bluff- I even expected it- but I never thought you'd trip me! Is tripping allowed in this sport? At any rate it it seems unfair that a woman should one-up me so handily and in such a peremptory fashion. I can see you now, after having made this comment, casually dusting your lapels and blowing on those hot fingers that just shot me down, in an almost off-handed fashion. I capitulate. You have bested me. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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Love the cartoon about Dick Cheney's memoir.  
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Love the cartoon about Dick Cheney's memoir. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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5/1/2015 9:28 am |
Yup it looks like you love showing dic pics. Maybe go as far as to say you love dics.....pics?
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Yup it looks like you love showing dic pics. Maybe go as far as to say you love dics.....pics? Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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