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| Blogs > NonVanillaDom > My Blog |
Trying to Intellectualize Submission
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Trying to Intellectualize Submission I fully understand that 95% of people will not understand this article. My example, although legitimate, to prove my point will probably piss-off some of the last 5%. That is OK. My bent in life is extremely easy to understand. So, let’s begin: Thesis: Trying to explain the reason a submissive personality exists intellectually fails as much as trying to explain any of Newton’s theories through emotions. We will start with my horrible example. I own a beautiful female boxer. She has a unique personality that only a few dogs posses. I have owned plenty of dogs. If you have not then take my word when I tell you that not all dogs are equal. This particular boxer is such a people person, so anxious to please, that when left alone she becomes very anxious. That anxiety becomes destructive after a few hours to where she clears tables and shreds what she finds. To control this behavior I was forced to purchase a large kennel (a cage). When I leave the house, or friends come over that cannot handle a with a personality, she is kenneled. Intellectually you would reason that the kennel would represent to her a confinement that she would want to avoid at all costs. In actuality the kennel is her place of security. She spends much of her quiet time resting in her kennel with the door open. A simple command by anyone makes her enter her kennel. A true submissive works in the same way. The relationship is based on one of love, honesty, trust, and security. Being owned and not having control allows you to not carry all of the anxiety and worries that most humans face in this fucked-up world. If you don’t believe this then take this exercise: list everything today that made you anxious, was a hardship, that weighed heavy on you today, or just generally caused you to not have a good day. Did you wish someone would remove that burden from your life? Why would someone voluntarily remove your burdens for you? Is it love? What would you be willing to give-up to be happy? Is ownership of yourself to much to ask? Looking from the outside (intellectually) the answers are probably a resounding “Hell No”. Looking at the same situation emotionally the opposite is probably true. That is the conundrum of being a submissive. What are you willing to sacrifice to be happy? This article is not advocating that a submissive must give-up their intellect to be submissive. An intelligent submissive is the best partner a person can ask for. The submissives I have met are above average intelligence. Sadly many have been damaged by a bad dominant. However, a D/s relationship does not function on intelligence. Molding of the submissive is done strictly through emotion. Discipline removes bad behaviors, thus reinforcing good behavior, through the feeling of pain which invokes an emotional response. Good behavior is reinforced through sexual satisfaction, expanded freedom, or other good rewards. Ownership may be enforced through vulnerability or<b> humiliation. </font></b>Nothing satisfies me more than a submissive telling me that I own her as she is spanked or is cumming. That is not a time (or shouldn’t be) when their intellect is in control of their emotions. So far we have looked at the submissive side, and this article is directed toward that slant. Yet, the dominant side fails when trying to use intellect to understand dominance. It is not an intellectually sound argument that by fucking with another person’s emotions you can create a human that is a fully satisfied human. Yet, that is exactly what a good dominant does. Thanks for reading, NonVanillaDom |
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Your points regarding behavior modification (reinforcement/punishment) are well received and true (I know from experience). You lost me with your conflating intelligence with submission. They aren't mutually inclusive. I've seen smart subs and intellectually challenged subs. They come in all shapes and sizes with varying motivations. Trying to intellectualize rationales for submission or dominance is a crapshoot at best due to the limitless possibilities. Human behavior is not black and white. It's gray. Not 50 Shades of Gray. Just Gray.  "My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur
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1 post 2/14/2015 12:02 am |
I'm not sure where I intermixed intelligence with submission in my post. They certainly aren't mutually exclusive. Neither is race and intelligence. But some people seem to want to make them mutually exclusive. I believe that was my point. Thank you for the comment.
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