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Blogs > phoenix71rebirth > Flamed by the Phoenix

Am Still Alive ... Barely ...  

phoenix71rebirth 52F
181 posts
3/17/2017 12:41 am
Am Still Alive ... Barely ...

Well if you been wondering what's happened to me - am alive.
Surviving on the good will and kindness of people.
Still jobless and apparently no signs of getting anything.
But I gotta figure this out somehow and grab my life back - its spiralling.
Tried applying for jobs back home in Malaysia - nada zilch zero
Applied over 600 jobs here - 3 interviews in 7mths, rest no sound - you dunno what's happening.
And then some other people are getting jobs like out today picked up tomorrow - and am like WTF?
If I hear another
1. hang in there it will turn over soon
2. you have an amazing CV and experience - matter of time
3. you're a strong woman you will overcome

I might just kill someone ... strong to the point of broken, hanging in there till hanging myself sounds like the only solution and my great CV and experience says am too fucking old to hire apparently ...

So ya ... am alive! Caustic as ever and battling my depression and trying to keep my daughters from falling into depression too seeing me struggle so much. By the way when I do get a job that pays enough to survive - BREAD is banned in my household - we've only eaten that in the last 3mths ... sliced tasteless white bread with some spread or tuna - and my unchecked thyroid has me nicely ballooned up so this bread ain't no weight loss program.

Throw a prayer out there for me - can't hurt eh?
Have a good weekend ya'll and be grateful for the little things in life I guess.

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