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| Blogs > phoenix71rebirth > Flamed by the Phoenix |
Looking for the Lost Muse
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Looking for the Lost Muse It's been nearly 2 years since I went home on vacation. That's my recharge time - to meet my childhood friends and be reminded of a time when things weren't as complicated as they are now. How did it all happen to get to this point? A cross examination of the facts is probably a necessity but I shall refrain from doing it here - have in the past vented and been subjected to quite a few abusive mails from complete strangers who think they must add salt to open wounds - anyhow ... moving right along. The muse am referring to is my inspiration to write. I used to write so often. Growing up, I wrote daily long pieces in my journal about my day my experiences my feelings up and downs joys and sadness Writing poetry came easily too These days pen in hand or fingers to keyboard I cannot even find the first word to set me off Poetry used to roll off my mind within 5 minutes of the first word I wrote - even with not particular narrative in mind just a word I'd set off on an imagery rich ride for anyone who cared to read. These days that inner muse or voice seems to either be on a long sabbatical or perhaps I have accidentally killed it with so much negativity in the past months as I struggled to make sense of my unemployed broke state of affairs. I cannot even write about my pain. Afraid that again I will be judged as a failure when I have done my best within my capacity to be a good mom and example to my daughters. I've made choices, some people call them sacrifices and some were good choices some were bad choices. But I have never come away with no lesson learnt. It's always been a steep learning curve for me. And at the bottom looking up or midway point I always come away with a lesson for the future. So for now am looking for my muse maybe even my inner mojo ... a balance of who I am in this point of time and how will I move forward. Life is about taking in everything keeping the good lessons, learning to not repeat from the bad and moving forward. So may I find this muse/mojo again ... soon. Tis almost my weekend ... have fun ya'll |
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If we would be paying more attention at our own persona, looking and analyze our own decisions and actions trying to learn from their result's and self educating our self from the best teacher, Life itself, we should have enough common sense not to point out the little fabric string coming out of your neighbors sleeve as you passing by showing (him/her's as they turn around to say Thank YOU) the color of your under garment thru the HOLE in your pants
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