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| Blogs > attixstatix > my erratic erotic mind |
A preamble on BDSM and feminism
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A preamble on BDSM and feminism A quick disclaimer: I've decided to attempt a (possibly very slow to develop) blog series based around domination/submission. Before I even publish the initial prologue, so to speak, I feel it is important to cover a few bases. Before just about anything else, I consider myself a feminist. I absolutely 100% feel that, as Beyonce has Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie say in Flawless, We teach girls to shrink themselves To make themselves smaller We say to girls, "You can have ambition But not too much You should aim to be successful But not too successful Otherwise you will threaten the man." Because I am female I am expected to aspire to marriage I am expected to make my life choices Always keeping in mind that Marriage is the most important Now marriage can be a source of Joy and love and mutual support But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage And we don't teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors Not for jobs or for accomplishments Which I think can be a good thing But for the attention of men We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings In the way that boys are Feminist: the person who believes in the social Political, and economic equality of the sexes we do live in a society where women are taught to be less than men, inferior to, and that is not proper or right. We are all humans, and we all have choices we can make. None of us should be expected to behave a certain way based on any factors that are out of our control. In short, we don't have to give in to stereotypes and cliches. A woman has every right to do something a man does, except maybe like pee standing up in the bathroom (or at least pee standing up WITHOUT MAKING A MESS). As a by the way type thing, this applies also to any race, religion, sexual preference, whatever. At the end of the day, bottom line, if you want to do something that doesn't hurt yourself or others (assuming you or they don't want to be hurt, that is), do it. You do you. My motto in life is basically 'I do what I want.' But with all that being said... gendered stereotypes aside, some women like to be controlled, and some men like to control. It works the same way backwards, too. There are certainly positives and negatives involved here. As mentioned in my profile, I've never been involved in a full time D/s type situation. For me it's always been sporadic, but engaging for all that nonetheless. I see the arguments against such an arrangement. Does this power structure as I've described it (me as dominant and a woman as submissive) support the stereotypes Beyonce refers to above? Certainly. But do some people want, maybe even NEED, that power structure in place? Also certainly. And people are going to continue to play with those roles. I think that the important part is not denying such arrangements' validity, but rather, if you are going to proceed sexually in any type of BDSM situation, do so openmindedly and positively. Some love<b> humiliation </font></b>and that's fine. I'm more what I would consider a positive Dom, though. I'm far more interested in telling you you are a good girl (or other more racy names  than telling you what a disgusting piece of shit garbage cunt you are. Just because I am in control doesn't mean that I should seek to diminish a woman's self-confidence or diminish the importance of her role in the D/s game by telling her how terrible she is. That's not what D/s should be about. If that is what a woman wants, by all means go for it, but I couldn't ever feel comfortable with it. I think D/s = control and acceptance, pleasing and being pleased, knowing what someone wants even though they may beg for something else, knowing it is all a part of the game. communication beforehand, so what is wanted by both parties can be provided by the other. Playing a role that is in many instances not true. I know that when i go into my 'pretend dom mode,' there's a high likelihood the things I say are not really things that I may mean. It's all a role to play, a role that will be played. And as a positive feminist, I play that role without resorting to many of what I consider to be the negative aspects of domination/submission. Have a great day, Black Flirting! More to cum |
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Agree!!!
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Thanks for posting your point of view. I am glad to see how much you do respect women in your role as a dom. I think of myself as openminded and a 'to each their own' kind of attitude. That being said, it still bothers me in the rooms when someone plays the submissive role or a Master role. I do not belittle them for their choice because I know it's what they want to do. And as you said, you do what you want to do. I am just a very independent soul and so I personalize the role playing. I shouldn't and that's why I am quiet when the role playing is going on. It's all about our personal choices and having fun.  Read RESPECT WE all NEED to do Better and Re Petition to Stop Transsexuals from Using Female Profiles
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