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Why Men's Offer of Oral Sex Makes Me Yawn.  

bipolybabe69 62F
404 posts
2/17/2016 2:07 pm
Why Men's Offer of Oral Sex Makes Me Yawn.


One potential suitor wrote to me and asked a thoughtful question which demonstrated that he had read my profile: "Why would you decline an offer of pussy licking?"

Here's my response without the "spoonful of sugar" :

1) In my experience, most men approach the pussy with the directness they do their own dicks, which is straight on and applying pressure to the place with the most nerve endings. That almost NEVER works for me because I like to be teased everywhere but the clit until it's clear my body is begging for contact. But men do either what they've been doing for 30+ years or they ape porn which only shows the tongue flicking thing because it's something you can see, rather than the soft mushy mouth that actually works for me. The men who have either learned on their own to tease and titillate or who've come to me for lessons are GREAT!

2) My body is wired for skillful internal stimulation of my G-spot. Cocks work great! They often make me squirt. Some fingers work well. The combo of mushy mouth on my clit plus intense fingers, stupendous. That combo is a high level skill, and not everyone has that level of coordination.

3) My assumption is that offering oral sex is the refuge of the guy who either a) can't get hard and/or stay hard or b) is likely to ejaculate quickly. I help men with both of these issues, teaching some easy Tantric techniques.

Which is not to say that I don't feel empathy for men. Penises are capricious. Men need relaxation and comfort with a woman to be able to function at their highest level. Women also need relaxation and comfort to have our best experiences.

And, with a man who is genuinely willing to take direction and spend as long as it takes to get me off, oral sex could be great but...

4) Most of my experiences these days are with men in my age cohort...which means we get a sore neck from staying in one position. Here's a solution: Mix it up. Go from mouth to hands and back again. Use lubricant for penetration with your fingers. (I prefer coconut oil.) Have her stroke and lick you intermittently, making it clear that you intend to go back down south. It is a rare man who is interested in making more than the obligatory visit: 5 minutes or less. (I've timed it!) Most women need 20-60 minutes before they climax from oral sex.

5) For me, having someone lick my pussy is much more intimate than fucking. I don't know why. Maybe it's the teeth so near my delicate flower.

6) I've used climax (which is different for me than the orgasmic state) as a signal to my body that "I'm done (for the moment)." I can be in an ecstatic state with full body and multiple orgasms through fucking and G-spot stimulation for, literally, hours. But, add the clit stimulation and I get "done" pretty quickly. I can get myself off in under a minute with the perfect combination of pressure on the G-spot and clit stimulation. The perfect combination includes Hitachi Magic Wand, which is wonderfully intense but may be too much for non-vibe girls and your fingers pushing up gently as you watch her face for her reaction. Then a little more firmly, then, there you go!

7) The offer of oral sex from a woman who is willing to keep at it (because a woman will have had an experience in her body of what SHE likes) is more interesting to me.

So, tell me where I'm wrong about my lack of excitement about being offered infinite pussy licking by a man.

{=}{=}{=}

Angie aka BiPolyBabe69


love2pleasu13 56M
6472 posts
2/17/2016 2:50 pm

Thanks for the info


bipolybabe69 replies on 2/17/2016 5:37 pm:
Why, thank you. You are very kind, sir!

Erosdude2 56M  
44 posts
2/17/2016 3:13 pm

Very well written...definitely interesting....

I very much enjoy the sensual type, like yourself. I have used the approach and techniques you have described to success, but have also occasionally been greeted with the "stop fucking around and get to it!" mantra of the less sensual.
For the most part, I enjoy "the build" and making sexual encounters and the sensations last. But I have encountered women who seem to prefer the faster pace ("take me!"), will practically move your head right to the little pink nub, and may even view any sort of teasing as ineptitude.

To change things up, yes, even I might do the faster-pace thing sometimes, too. The expression of unbridled lust towards another can be a very erotic compliment, and might even considered a technique, too...and of course, variety is great, "to each their own,", and so on and so on...

But so many don't know what they're missing by not taking it slow sometimes. Teasing and "the build", as you mentioned, can make things lots more intense when it comes time for you to make a mess....


bipolybabe69 replies on 2/17/2016 5:38 pm:
What you say is true.

I've found the greatest variance in what women like for oral sex. But, what I've found is true is that if you do less, she will tell you she wants "MORE!!!"

If you do too much, she will not tell you that you gave her too much stimulation too quickly. She'll just shut down.

missthee 58F  
4511 posts
2/18/2016 3:10 am

"Mushy mouth" that is an apt description!
I agree internal stimulation is a different type of climax and for me preferable, because it can go on for a longer time. Clitoral stimulation on its own leaves me feeling empty, so to speak. And if it is too fast or too intense, yes, I do get that need to "shut down."


bipolybabe69 replies on 2/22/2016 10:37 pm:
Say "Amen," Soul Sistuh!

KAKI1 64M  
9 posts
2/19/2016 6:21 am

Sex has to be mix-up of different styles, positions, oral intercourse, break, etc.
It's all about variety

Also, communication is essential, along with plenty of lubrication, whether natural or in a bottle.

And always tease your partner, it makes them want more


bipolybabe69 replies on 2/22/2016 10:40 pm:
Un hombre muy inteligente!

khuXBFXM8u 62M
10296 posts
2/19/2016 8:38 pm

An intelligent man will listen. But if I'm judging from the blogs and profiles of women, most women will not speak and/or teach. They would rather complain to others than communicate in an effective way with their partner.

5 minutes of oral is an obligatory visit... that's why the results are unsatisfactory. Those who are good at things tend to enjoy the things. Who doesn't want to spend time doing what they truely enjoy? I think it holds true for oral.

Find pleasure in giving pleasure


bipolybabe69 replies on 2/22/2016 10:32 pm:
I am among the few women willing to speak up for my own pleasure.

And, you're right. Anything offered out of obligation, rather than one's own delight or because one enjoys giving pleasure, should simply be skipped.

Icould 65M
3988 posts
2/21/2016 9:45 pm

I think everyone likes something different. I have told women before that masturbating in front of me can be the quickest way for me to learn what works for them. Even when they do this some cheat and show me what they think I want to see rather then share the secrets they have leaned over time. I do what I can and try and pickup the signs but hey I can take instruction as well as steering...lol

I should go into how I like head sometime, there is a million ways to give it and some I like some well I would rather not bother...shrugs.

There you go
That's all and none of it tragic.


bipolybabe69 replies on 2/22/2016 10:34 pm:
I just wrote about how "Bitches be tricky" related to another topic, but this is true here, too. I've found that what they like for oral sex seems to be the area where women differ the most.

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