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| Blogs > Oralmourner > My sexual exploration |
Dominant and submissive relationships
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Dominant and submissive relationships This is one type of sexual relationship I will never entire. It goes against everything I believe about pleasure and free will to enjoy it. For those who think I don’t know what I’m talking about I will say this. I was with someone who wanted to enter into such a relationship. The sex was not hot. It’s the main reason I don’t allow pain of any sort in sex. I hate the gag. I hated the corsewear. I hate the remote vibrator. Above all else I hate being tied and paddled. Let’s just say that kind of relationship has left scars. I’m a fully functional woman and it was extremely humiliating to be paddled as punishment. Or restrain because I want to give myself pleasure. A lot of dominant/submissive relationships lends itself to BDSM and sex club scene. I know my ex and a lot of men who are into dominant/submissive relationships think because I am sexually uninhabited with my sex partners that I’m very sexually free all around. It’s the antiquated idea of the and nun syndrome. That if a woman who enjoys sex is a . If she doesn’t then she’s frigid like a nun. I’m so not a fan of this. A man generally doesn’t go around advertising he’s sticking his cock in every. If he does, women don’t want his cock in her. I think men are the same. They don’t want an actual . Just a women who is comfortable with sex and open to trying new things. At least that’s what I’m told by most men I speak to here. I am a hypochondriac so the idea of sex clubs is gross to me. I don’t trust people who are into that scene. I don’t understand why dominates need to control a women in her pleasure. Allowing her to do thing or not. I’m pretty well versed in my body and how to derive pleasure from sex with my body. I know what my partners need to do for me to cum. I like to engage in dialog about what pleases my partners. I don’t tell my partners they can’t do this or that if the get pleasure from it. It seems extremely selfish to control someone’s pleasure when you’re having sex. On top of it, the painful paddling as punishment and the<b> humiliation </font></b>is what sex is not about. I think those are threats bullies taunt when they want to demean you. In conclusion, men stop it with telling me you’re a bull and like to be dominant. That somehow I would get off of a heavy hand. I call bullshit on all this.   |
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Being new to a D/s relationship (sorta) we're finding a few things out that don't fit the standard narrative. First, and perhaps foremost, is that it is *entirely* about her pleasure and that, ultimately, the real control comes from the position of the sub. Maybe it's different in 24/7 D/s relationships but our exploration has been more in a "what would turn you on today" vein - it's a dialogue. That said - as we've talked to a few people about this stuff there is (as you point out in your post) a fairly broad group of Dom men who really are just men who dislike or have contempt for women.
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