Counting Down
|
Posted:Dec 31, 2015 8:24 am
Last Updated:Jan 1, 2016 8:49 am
5749 Views
|
To close out 2015
Raring to go in 2016
Expectations rife
That the new year
Brings newer challenges
Coupled with hope
Wishing everyone
Love
Light
Happiness
Peace
Contentment
See ya in the new year .... sprinkling phoenix rainbox wishes.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Merry & Blessed Christmas
|
Posted:Dec 24, 2015 10:19 pm
Last Updated:Dec 30, 2015 5:10 pm
5861 Views
|
To each and everyone of you.
Am hoping that some wishlists came true
Mine was its usual empty stocking and trashed mistletoe
But welcomed the day with a walk in the nice weather here in the sandpit to the nearby Starbucks with my daughters ... after a simple dinner.
At the stroke of midnight we sang Silent Night as is tradition in my home had some fruitcake (made us long for homemade moist brandy filled fruitcake that my mom makes) and a lil red wine.
Messages and calls and chatter Christmas is here.
May all of you find peace and goodwill in your hearts that joy and happiness will soon follow.
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Looking Back To Move Forward
|
Posted:Dec 22, 2015 12:31 am
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2015 8:25 am
5757 Views
|
Many off us spend our lives looking back
At all the misadventures that have speckled our existense
Somehow as painful as it is for some of us
We find an explainable comfort
In that traps of time and moments past
Why?
Likely to escape the unravelling of our time present
An escapism route to justify
Why our present isn't falling into place
Exactly as we intended it to
I know this too well.
I do it too often
Paralysed by the fear that the future is unknown
Beyond my control
I cannot predict its failure unless
It becomes my present
And so I find comfort in my minds prison cell
That in looking back I will justify
My presents inability to break free
2015 has been life changing in baby steps
Realization that whilst blood is thicker than water
Very often we become strangers
A few health scares that was a reckoning dawn
That for too long I have taken my body for granted
And it was now telling me enough
The openness and willingness to consider I may be ready
To embark on a quest so riddled with challenges
One to find love again
All in all I learnt that for me to move forward
I needed to unshackle myself from my past
Stand wide eyed and cognitive of my present
This newly acquired inner calm and peace
Has had an interesting effect
My nonexistent male attention quotient has shot up
Leaving me somewhat concerned and bemused
Concerned I might have set something in motion
I might not be quite ready for
Bemused that at this midlife point
Men are finding me attractive
But I am going to look forward
And live my new mantra
I believe in me
Coz if I don't
Nobody else will.
2016 will be better than the last 44years
It will be so because I believe it will
Challenges derailment
Come what may
I am experienced and confident
That no matter how many times
I fall flat on my face
I will stand up dust off
And look forward.
Hope each of you finds your secret happy always
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
It's All In The Delivery
|
Posted:Dec 20, 2015 10:52 pm
Last Updated:Dec 21, 2015 5:33 pm
5763 Views
|
I write a lot
I talk a lot more
I have the good fortune of an amazing command of the English language.
Lexically resourceful to ramp up or down scale my vocabulary in order to convey my message and thoughts effectively across any level of English comprehension.
This is a blessing.
No doubts my polished is as suave and topnotch as my swearing. And you really don't wanna get on my wrong side on a bad day ... I can swear in a number of languages being Malaysian and exposed to languages and dialects ... and globally travelled and exposed.
But there's an art in delivery that many seem oblivious about. Being crass and being subtle elicits different reactions.
I can be both because some people being polite doesn't convey it clearly enough and you gotta say it in the words and tone they comprehend.
However if one wants to say something but already presents the point in an argumentative manner then generally negative is the reaction.
Going into a discussion however one sided blogs might seem is to invite the reader to think, to feel that a comment or response from them is welcomed because we are all adults.
Being a bull in a china shop is pointless ... it means we are closed to anything other than our own POV however on fleek or off the mark it is.
Communications is a reciprocal artform.
Polite encourages the same
Rude does the same
I have acquired over time the skill to turn down solicitations because it might be a sex site but it doesn't mean I play, ... I could very well be part of an on-going learning process of how the keyboard shapes our interactions with the world we create in this anonymous space.
All I am saying is there's always a better way to say something ... it might be beneficial to acquire this skill both online and offline ... and this world may have a chance at understanding each other.
4 days to Christmas ... are we festive yet?
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Test Results
|
Posted:Dec 20, 2015 4:01 am
Last Updated:Dec 22, 2019 5:14 am
5743 Views
|
So a few days back I uploaded a very out of character picture of my exposed bosom.
Whilst there were just 12 likes and 4 comments on the picture itself in the first 6 hours before I decided to change my picture back to my current on a 2nd round recycle I received approximately an earth shattering 150+messages in my inbox in the same period from
1. Men who had previously chatted but dropped off when they realised no shag meant EXACTLY that .. no shag .. they felt maybe boobs exposed meant I changed something.
2. Men who had seen me in chatrooms and genwrally say nothing but the exposed bosom with notti nips suddenly made me fuck worthy and so their messages were well all about what they wanted to do
3. Men complete strangers who felt the anonymity of a sex site gave them the freedom to insinuate some really disturbing things.
So I conclude that have boobs and dark chocolate nipples and throw them out in the open you will immediately be the IT girl to pay attention to and keep asking to meet for a little NSA ONS.
Thank you men of the world for reassuring me its not my sunshine personality my wit or smarts or that I carry conversations very well that draws you to me ... it was purely a boobie flash that worked wonders.
And nope didnt lose my pants in the process.
Note I said pants not panties .... tells you to get either off is gonna be a fruitless attempt on your part.
|
|
|
3
Comments
|
|
Mistletoe and Kisses
|
Posted:Dec 12, 2015 12:57 pm
Last Updated:Dec 20, 2015 3:36 am
5243 Views
|
It's that freaking time of year again
The holiday season
Christmas
New Years
And another year with no hope of kisses
To warm the heart
No mistletoe to be found
No luscious tasty lips
No snogging in shadowy corners
That might set a mood
That fills the night
With sweet scent of love
With sweeter kisses
With whisperings
That are silenced
Only when sleep
Overtakes naked spent
Snuggled lovers
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Predictability ...
|
Posted:Dec 12, 2015 12:27 pm
Last Updated:Dec 20, 2015 3:37 am
4031 Views
|
I do so wish at times life wasn't so predictable.
You're in a conversation and in walks Ms Squeezed into 3 sizes too small .. boobs and butt busting at the seams and there goes attention and focus out the door.
Apparently possession of the third B ... brains isn't worth any mans time .. boobs and butt ... thats 2 outta 3 Bs and you're on a home run for testosterone overdrive with tongue hanging out.
All I can do is pack my brain and leave ... unamused.
Another name crossed off the list.
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
When It Rains
|
Posted:Nov 24, 2015 8:58 am
Last Updated:Dec 20, 2015 8:42 am
3748 Views
|
You must have come in unnoticed
I too engrossed with the claps of thunder
Lightening trail blazing the angry clouds
Big fat raindrops start to fall
The air is hot moist heavy
A gust of wind
Sends droplets upon my skin
Cold meets hot
A shiver down my spine remembering
When your warm tender lips
Caressing my neck
Aroused me
Your hands wrapped tight
Pulling me into a telling embrace
The torrential rains outside
Stir my heart longing
For the desire
You have not showered me with
In an eternity
She is the keeper of your heart
The one you hunger for
Whose scent lingers on your skin
That with every breath I take
Stabs me
Wounds me
Kills me a little more each time
When I reach for you
And you push me away
Creating an unbreachable distance
I am the facade of normalcy
In an abnormal uneasy arrangement
My memory filled with unfulfilled promises
As the cracks become more visible
In this charade you orchestrate
I know your eyes
Watch me with contempt
Setting me free would unmask you
Playing me for the fool who loves you
Gives her the clout and gumption
To abuse my stoic silence
Tears flow freely
As they do now
Only when it rains
*phoenix71rebirth original*
|
|
|
3
Comments
|
|
Colour My Canvas
|
Posted:Nov 11, 2015 11:23 pm
Last Updated:Dec 20, 2015 8:41 am
3714 Views
|
I awake to find
That alone am I
In this king sized bed
Skin still tingling
Aroused
Desiring
Remembering
The heat of your mouth
The moist lips
The strong hands
Caressing kneading
Pulling my body to yours
The soft whispers
The escaping moans
The erotic scent only lovers drown in
When limbs fuse and merge
When a rhythm comes together
Leading into a climatic crescendo
Before staccato gasps
Unfusing body parts
A burst of hues within our minds
Reflected in adoring eyes
You promised to always
In brilliant hues
Colour my canvas
|
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
Living The Moments
|
Posted:Nov 10, 2015 9:42 pm
Last Updated:Dec 27, 2015 9:32 am
3939 Views
|
Been a while since I wrote here.
Been busy with work and challenged by a dead VPN in these parts of the world.
My daughters who are my anchors and my best friends made an amusing point the other day. Their mom goes through these bursts of every day/evening/night someone asks me out and then for the same number of months/years no one will ask me out.
A couple of weeks ago every male in contact with me on here within the Gulf region wanted to meet.
To be perfectly honest in 7 days I met 3 chaps and on 1 of those days it was one in the early evening and another till the wee hours of the morning. The same one who filled my evening hours and a whole day 4 days.
Wow she must have been fucking her brains out. Naaaaaaah ... that's the irony of the Phoenix. Getting to stripped naked and having sex is rare and even if the Phoenix might want to get naked and notti ... several other factors weigh in.
But to allay your concerns the Phoenix admits to one distraction shag in recent times. I am human yes, just not a forever horny human.
But yes I am living the moments as they come. When it presents itself I review it in my mind whether the act would be regrettably woesome or shag and forget or savour a memory created.
For most of the presented its avoided knowing it will be regrettably woesome.
The distraction shag is a temporal resolution to a basic human need ... a transient moment of intimacy that passes and I forget it ever happened.
Oooo the ones I like best are where memories are created and when alone I get to savour the emotions the tastes the smells the tactile euphoria and the intimacy of the moment stolen from time when everything was forgotten to imprint itself forever in the canvas of my mind.
These are rare ... too few ... and largely non-sexual in nature. The desire is strong ... the attraction stronger ... the connect is soul deep. There's even a presence of love albiet forbidden ... these are my best encounters. Where maybe the only sexually laced gestures were kisses or the grazing of a hand intentionally and feeling the electricity speed thru your veins.
The one I enjoyed most in that amazing week of men like a revolving door was the one whose mind so tightly intertwined with mine. Who went on a gastronomical adventures because he trusted me even tho he had never eaten anything like it before. Who sat for hours talking listening never really every physically in contact. Who after all those hours together I found I loved a little bit more and who misses me a little bit more.
But alas forbidden fruits cannot be reaped for there is an intricate complex web of realities which will always be present ... but if you have never experienced a non sexual orgasm you will say what a load of bull. Probably making love to a man's mind without touching him isn't for everyone but when you find your equal sex happens without clothes in a pile by the foot of the bed ... it happens so beautifully sitting across each other in very public places in the mind and your eyes are windows to that experience. And nobody else knows ...
You lived your moments ones that will turn in your mind forever.
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
A 40somethings Rant
|
Posted:Sep 24, 2015 9:50 am
Last Updated:Nov 10, 2015 9:00 pm
3567 Views
|
I swear these cramps as you get older ...
I mean when I was a sprightly worrying about painting my uniform the unsightly red in a co-ed school while pale as death and doubled up in pain someone told it gets easier as you grow older ...
But this last few months, no make it years every single time this tragedy makes its familiar appearance it reminds you of the moment you're in labour that last legs of it when you fucking wanna just push the lil monster out coz its killing you from inside ....
And then you hold the monster and you forget the bloody torture you went thru just moments ago, but now you've got to deal with a mother of all leaks sprung like every ounce of blood possible is spilling out of you ... aaah but the joy of a healthy baby in your arms you are forgiving to nature's fertility checkpoint.
And then you go through the cycles, and because you are married the expectation is that you do it again and for some people again and again and again. The biggest plus about being preggers is you might look extra radiant probably because you are free of this monthly torment for the next 9months.
I survived 2 rounds of this and would not have minded another 1 more time ... but that plan faded quickly enough with the exit of the spouse who did in fact go in for round 3 and 4 with the other woman.
SO here I am at 44 thinking ok my ovaries would fucking let up already. Let the menopause onset begin.
But apparently the universe had a very wicked sense of humour ... I see my gynecologist in July right after one of these bloody sessions (literally) and she tells me "aaaaa you got many more baby making years left in you!"
I was like universe you can take the damned fertility from me and sow in the wombs of ladies yearning to have a and I would be so grateful ... the great news this is the universe apparently heard my plea that 1 time and a girlfriend of mine found out she'd conceived about the same time I was talking to the universe about this fertility trade.
I know women are having babies at 65 and older, but well I think raising 2 on my own was good enough of aging me to double my age and I still have at least another 15yrs of being responsible for my lil monsters before I can say OK! Its your lives now go forth and prosper.
FUCK! when does it get to sex without worrying about getting preggers? Am guessing geriatric shuffle age ... by then I think I won't remember what the hell sex is anyways.
Yup being 40ish is fabulous, you don't give a rat's ass about a lot of things that you got all wound up about when you were young.
Sex less yet happy ... carpe diem!
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
Growth Teacher
|
Posted:Sep 5, 2015 3:55 am
Last Updated:Oct 20, 2015 11:43 am
3816 Views
|
Apparently that's my Love Type ...
And it's quite true. In the relationships I have had on any level, I invest so much time and effort and usually end up out in the cold rain with no umbrella.
It's left me drained on many levels.
Lately it seems its not even worth the effort - at least not from a romance point of view. I cannot wrap my emotions around aloof individuals who want to take the affections but never reciprocate at even a fraction.
On the professional level too I have grown tired of the takers never any givers or sharing kinds to be found. I give the best of me to nurture and to care and now it seems its best to just pull back and recharge.
And to top the icing on the cake with a sugar plum, when I started looking at taking care of me, loving myself, being happy with my life - I got labelled self centred self absorbed bitch.
Irony from the same people who'd grown so used to just taking taking taking on every level of a relationship ....
The world is a funny place. So if I am a bitch for wanting to be happy before making irrational choices then so be it!
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Facing Fears
|
Posted:Jul 15, 2015 1:27 am
Last Updated:Oct 15, 2019 5:41 am
4072 Views
|
I am on of those people who generally avoids doctors and hospitals.
I tend to read up a lot consult with friends who are in the medical profession and decide the severity of my situation before hauling my sorry ass to the doctors.
2 years ago at the behest of my sister's friend a doctor in Italy I did an ultrasound - two goiter nodes were discovered but I was given the assurance everything was fine considering all the bloods for thyroid came back with nothing showing any thyroid issues.
This year one evening while chatting on IM with my cam on, I had 3 different guys ask me if I had a thyroid problem - that was wayyyyyyyyyyyy odd to me. So after much feet dragging I went to see a GP who started the whole thing rolling.
The thing with starting the ball rolling is you never really know where its going to end up. And then its time for reality and facing fears.
The Endocrinologist ordered a biopsy, the biopsy came back with well suspicion of cancer and so here we are with visits to the surgeon to schedule the op to take these buggers out.
And I had a moment of epiphany of sorts ... life's all about Carpe Diem because the moment that moment is lost ... it's lost forever. It ain't coming back.
Whilst I am very lucky to find this early, have it quite easily treatable with medication for life some aren't because facing up to the fear that one's mortality is at risk is the biggest reason we sentence ourselves to death.
I take responsibility that I have failed my body ... because I have spent all my time trying to be responsible for everyone else. But I also am sensible enough to stop and say enough of this time to take control.
As a single mom with 2 teenagers, it makes you reflective about what values you are teaching your about respecting their bodies. Because it is this very mortal shell in good well oiled performance that we need in order to go out there and seize the moments in life.
If one is to live life to its potential we need these mortal shells to chug along at our pace.
And sometimes facing a fear gives you opportunity to care for yourself ... because really if you don't who else will right?
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
To link to this blog (phoenix71rebirth) use [blog phoenix71rebirth] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
| |
|
|
|
|
|
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
131
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
31
|
|
|
|
|
|
Most Recent Comments by Others
| 2022... How even (2) | EricL1147
Jan 29, 2022 4:18 am |
| Crickey September Already (4) | sexcomplication
Jan 10, 2022 3:20 pm |
| What did May bring? (3) | Xcyted72
Jul 13, 2021 4:45 pm |
| Easter Greetings (2) | Merlinmystic
Apr 4, 2021 7:51 pm |
| CNY 2021... Here's to an Oxpicious year (2) | MisterBlivs
Feb 12, 2021 11:51 pm |
| Moving with the times (6) | SirTeezalot
Dec 27, 2020 8:30 pm |
| It's November (2) | bulehyatt
Nov 7, 2020 8:14 am |
| Distancing in these Covid-19 times (5) | Merlinmystic
Jun 21, 2020 10:38 pm |
| Really ... (5) | Pornny_Pornnyyy
Mar 21, 2020 5:07 am |
| Promises (2) | Pornny_Pornnyyy
Feb 5, 2020 8:34 pm |
| Rest in Peace Press Secretary (3) | Pornny_Pornnyyy
Jan 1, 2020 7:27 pm |
|
