The stars hold in their place
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Posted:Dec 1, 2020 3:47 am
Last Updated:Jul 4, 2021 1:41 pm
6435 Views
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I have struggled with sleeping, forever. I've got poems filled with nightmares and restlessness. I look at them, and it's no wonder I wasn't sleeping. I wrote this poem to try to reflect a different view of sleeping. It's not exactly a poem, more a bit of positive thinking, for the next time I go to sleep. The last few lines refer back to some of those painful poems written over the years. I'm not including them here.
The stars hold in their place written March 27th, 2020
Now I lay me down to sleep in this safe warm soft bed.
I lay on the bed and feel the surface gently cradling the parts of my body heel calf thigh hips shoulders head.
I pull up the covers to hold me and wrap around me keeping me warm and safe through the night.
I smooth the soft plushy over me then snuggle it up to my chin.
I glance beside me to see my favorite stuffie my long-time companion who always sleeps with me.
"Alexa, play Pandora" and soft music fills the cool room this haven of safety and calm.
I sigh and close my eyes in peace.
The stars overhead no longer spin but hold in their place.
The universe cradles me as I sleep in depths of peace.
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Lost in ancient forests
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Posted:Nov 30, 2020 8:15 am
Last Updated:Dec 1, 2020 10:17 am
6155 Views
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Ancient forests started on October 9th, 2020 revised on November 30th, 2020
Translation of a Chinese poem by Wang Wei: "I know no good way to live and I can't stop getting lost in my thoughts, my ancient forests."
I think getting lost in ancient forests sounds lovely.
I get lost in my head in old familiar battlefields and imagined future apocalypses.
But an ancient forest with cool, shaded layers of trees doesn't sound so bad
I guess it is the lost part that is the problem. Maybe the ancient forests wouldn't be so bad if the poet knew where he was.
Feet touching the earth anchoring this self to this exact spot the soul a beacon to the world's gps system.
I am here.
I am not lost.
I am.
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7
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Pussy Willow
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Posted:Nov 29, 2020 3:08 am
Last Updated:Sep 26, 2021 3:14 pm
6088 Views
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Pussy Willow written November 29th, 2020
I walked by you this summer dressed in your green finery. If I thought anything it was, "what a nice little tree." I am sorry say I did not look close enough form much of an impression.
Now fall has come you have shivered most of your leaves off a few hold on tenaciously trying in vain cover your virtues.
I look at you and am I ever surprised! Your branches are craggy and twisted displaying the lovely complexity of advanced age result of many exposures the storms of life.
The tips of your branches hold fuzzy little nubs that remind me of pussy willows. I stand near and marvel at the aching tenderness of your womanhood kept hidden until now under your leafy raiment.
I look but I do not touch I have not asked permission and I will not. I hope the world continues to pass you by leaving you unmolested. It is not easy to be so revealed.
I look forward to seeing you next summer all dressed up again. I will smile and nod as I pass by knowing what your verdant covering hides beneath it.
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I rage (trigger warning for rage)
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Posted:Nov 28, 2020 3:35 pm
Last Updated:Aug 13, 2021 2:03 pm
5665 Views
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I rage (trigger warning for rage) written november 28th, 2020
I rage against the abuse which has left me a stranger to my self and my body
I rage against the abuse that makes me feel my vagina is a raw open wound
I rage against the abuse that has left things in my psyche that I will never be able to explain to another
I rage against the abuse that was not my fault but is all i have decades later
I rage against the abuse that has made me feel a freak in a world i will never be part of
I rage against the abuse that makes good people back away from me because they don't want to be part of this fear and mess
I rage
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moon glow
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Posted:Nov 28, 2020 4:57 am
Last Updated:Dec 2, 2020 11:46 am
5322 Views
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moon glow written november 27th, 2020
I live in the city where the constant pulse of man-made lights has stolen the stars
but the moon still shines an amorphous glowing ball behind a haze of mist hung in this starless sky.
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substance
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Posted:Nov 25, 2020 4:37 pm
Last Updated:Nov 27, 2020 4:27 pm
4938 Views
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substance written november 25th, 2020
What substance do I have? bone muscle blood skin.
I know there is more than these.
But it is so fleeting slipping through these mortal fingers squishing between my toes as I walk wetting my hair as the sky falls .
So I write thinking that maybe I can catch something by surprise pin it this paper with my pen some fluttering gossamer wing that tells me what am I?
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sated, sated
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Posted:Nov 24, 2020 1:15 pm
Last Updated:Jul 6, 2021 3:30 pm
5123 Views
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sated, sated because of 4 written november 24th, 2020
sated, sated my body prostrate
sated, sated in screams and trembling
sated, sated now loosed with our coming
sated, sated the passion fear worry love shame beauty the terrible aloneness
has all been spent and i am
sated, sated
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4
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This enveloping darkness
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Posted:Nov 16, 2020 3:48 am
Last Updated:Jul 6, 2021 3:36 pm
4959 Views
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This enveloping darkness November 15th, 2020
I often get inspiration from words or phrases in books and poems. "The darkness envelops..... " page 369 in The Starless Sea, by Erin Morgenstern
In the light of day I am many things
A reader of books A body reflected in a mirror A traveler to far off places A collector of things A teller of stories
Then the night comes wrapping me in a layer of dark downy plush stripping the extraneous away until there is only my shuddering breath in this enveloping darkness
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The play of air on a bound body
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Posted:Oct 18, 2020 7:59 am
Last Updated:Nov 29, 2020 3:12 am
5092 Views
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The play of air on a bound body July 1995
laying on my back arms bound apart above my head
blindfolded bathed in depths of darkness the rest of my body left free to move
this is the beginning like a rebirth awakening to find myself
bound
i lay very still casting my senses around trying find some indication of my surroundings
all i can see is the darkness i stare deep into it trying to discern some marker
all i can hear is the sound of music playing in the background and a heavy stillness
all i can smell is the smell of old silk from the scarf which is covering my mouth
all i can taste is a dryness in my mouth how long have i been here? minutes? hours?
all i can feel is the bed underneath soft and giving supporting my body
i wrap myself in the stillness
then i notice the air playing over my body just the lightest touch almost an annoyance
tickling my knees and up over my stomach between my breasts barely touching
i wrap myself deeper still
the other senses are forgotten and the touch of the air becomes my whole world
deeper still
i gasp as the air takes on concrete qualities
like the feel of silk flowing over me as my body writhes in answer to its touch
deeper still
my body stills as the touch of silk becomes a soft breeze
blowing over me i see my body like waves of silver grain blowing in the breeze
deeper still
i breath in sharply as the breeze picks up and i am surrounded by gales of wind
i feel my body become long and smooth all things unnecessary blown away by the gale
until i am perfect the soft planes of my body streamlined by the gale
deeper still
i expel my breath slow and steady up into the air above
and everything quiets settling around like grains of sand a beach
i smile slightly holding the visions of silk and perfection in my mind
and settle in to wait for my body to be
unbound
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If Someone Was Looking - Poem
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Posted:Oct 17, 2020 8:42 pm
Last Updated:Nov 27, 2020 4:07 pm
5125 Views
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If someone was looking March 2020 - home in Atlanta
If someone was looking they would see me seated at my dining room table hurriedly scribbling down words chasing a line from a dream aching and exposed and raw before it is gone forever
If someone was looking they would see a person seated in meditation taking on different postures taking on myriad forms coming back my breath aching and exposed and raw after chasing everyone else's breaths
If someone was looking they would see my body slighter than it used be walking new knees with new shoes standing in line among people aching and exposed and raw vulnerable people's piercing glances
If someone was looking they would see my naked legs spread wide my knees pulled tight a hand pulling apart my pussy lips expose my clit the vibe aching and exposed and raw as I shatter the stillness with my screams coming
If someone was looking they would see my life composed of husband and home cats and books aching and exposed and raw the watcher watching
If someone was looking aching and exposed and raw they would see.... ?
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Qualifications to be a Daddy
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Posted:Oct 11, 2020 5:25 am
Last Updated:Jun 12, 2021 10:48 pm
4765 Views
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I woke this morning, and the first thing I always do is message my Daddy. He has lived closer before, but now he is long distance. He was already awake, and we had a long discussion about the merits of maple scented lip gloss. He listened intently and shared his thoughts, as he always does no matter the topic.
I said this to him just joking: Qualifications to be a Daddy: Be able to listen to and discuss the merits and abject failings of various lip gloss scents and flavors.
I love doing silly little things that make Daddy smile, and they make me smile also. They bring a moment of lightness into both of our lives. I was just joking about the above qualifications, but as I thought about it, it seems more and more important to me. I see people ask what being a Daddy means. People are interested in different things, of course. Words can have many different meanings and interpretations depending on who is using them and who each of us is. Know what you want and find someone who wants similar or compatible things!
For me, there are many things that make a Daddy, but this is one that my Daddy and I come back to again and again. Little things that make us both smile and show our care and love for each other. Thank you Daddy.
And I guarantee, there is someone out there whose takeaway from this was: talk about lip gloss to get sex.
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